Remember when I posted on here the video with Stacey Sobel, the former Executive Director of Equality Advocates PA? Well Stacey and I met up that day in Harrisburg because there was a hearing going on in regards to the SB 1250 bill, “The Marriage Protection” amendment that they were trying to pass in PA. (Basically it was a state constitituinal amendment which would ban all types of civil unions, marriages, domestic partnerships or anything else of that nature between same-sex couples.)

Anyway, on that day Stacey informed us that after the hearing that we really need to go talk to our Senators and Representatives and we need to urge them to Oppose this bill and just to frankly tell them our story, etc.

Well, Kathy, my partner, and I met up with a lovely older straight woman (whose daughter is a lesbian and lives in Oregon) and we all went on a mission to visit all of our Senators and State Reps together.

While waiting for some of the Senators and Reps. we were of course talking to their secretaries or assistants, etc. Every one of them that I say with a wedding ring on I asked the following:

Are you married? They of course said yes.

I then would ask them how long they’ve been married and how the marriage is going? They’d tell me how long they’ve been married and tell me that their marriage is wonderful and that they love it.

I would then point to Kathy and say: “I love her. And we just bought a house together and we want to spend the rest of our lives together and we want to get married too.”

I then asked “How’s your marriage now?”

Each and everyone of these people gave me a kind of odd look and said “um it’s still wonderful and good.”

I would then say “Exactly! Us loving one another and wanting to marry has absolutely no bearing on you and your marriage whatsoever. You don’t know us and we don’t affect your life at all! Your marriage will still be happy and filled with love, even if WE get married. Your world isn’t going to change.”

Each and everyone of secretaries and assistants that we met that day said “Oh I agree with you. I’m definitely on your side with this one ladies.”

So it was a good feeling to have this type of diaglouge with folks and to actually listen to their reaction to things and to REALLY listen to thier words.

And folks, I don’t think there is anything wrong with having this type of dialogue with straight folks that you come in contact with whether at work, college, the gym, wherever. If the situation fits, well have the dialouge. I kinda think that when you say it in the context above it may be just a lil easier for them to “get it.” Because imagine saying “how’s your marriage NOW?” and they say “OMG it’s over, it sucks yada yada” You, I and even they know how ridiculous and absurd that would sound……..

Btw, if you haven’t watched the video with Stacey Sobel yet, here it is. Some of it does apply to the PA hearing we were at but the majority of the video and the advice that she gives fits for people in ALL states.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Posted under Gay Relationships, gay marriage, glbt rights, videos